[IRIS] Implement "clique inflation"

[RussTedrake]

@wernerpe has a variant of IRIS-ZO which uses a distance metric based on point-to-VPolytope instead of the ellipsoidal metric that we typically use in IRIS. One primary feature of this is that it becomes easier to guarantee that the resulting polytope contains all of the points in some initial clique.

This could unblock https://github.com/RobotLocomotion/drake/pull/21838.