optimize execution of general DDL

[D3Hunter]

Enhancement

we have optimize create table using fast-create, but there are scenarios that we might create a lot of database, or run many DDLs like add/modify column in the maintenance window. so we want to optimize execution of general DDL, and in a unified way

• [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53217
• [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53882
• [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/54122
• [ ] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/54142
• [ ] move job dependency calculation into memory, to avoid the slower SQL
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/54003
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/54110
• [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/54041
• [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53747
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53944
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53887
• [ ] [low priority] notify the session which is not on DDL owner node when owner finished handling by RPC or other way
• [ ] [hold] add index on type for tidb_ddl_job to make some query faster
• [ ] other refactors
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53548
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/53816
  • [x] https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/54141