fuckitjs
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Investigate using FuckItJS with node.js
There should be a node.js package for using FuckItJS server-side, similar to the way you can have node compile LESS into CSS server-side.
+1 for node support
+1
This is an interesting idea, especially because node can write to disk, conveniently replacing your original script file with the new de-fucked version (and without the burden of silly "warnings").
For extra destructive power you could make it installable globally and require root permissions 😸
sudo yarn global add fuckitjs
+1