support for findAndModify

[boorad]

Hi Jacob,

Here are my commits for the findAndModify command. I guess I included both Jeremy Hood's commits for insert_sync and the whitespace work that I did on my fork. Oh well, the rest of the commits are the meat of the pull request.

Comments welcome, especially on the options handling for specific features (fam_options/2 vs. create_query/2 and /4)

Cheers, BA