Release binaries report impossible values for SIXAXIS on Windows?

[m-7761]

I have Firmware version 2.0 with original model. The two release binaries don't really match the source code, but for timestamps they have GroupSequence1 and GroupSequence2 and the JSON objects for these value say they go from 0 to 255 and keep increasing until rolling over at a rate of something like 5 times per second.

The gyroscope/accelerometer data looks to be going in circles. It doesn't have a pattern... it's kind of like if the bitstream was read at the wrong locations, if I had to guess.

EDITED: Both LibUSB and WinUSB exhibit the same behavior. (I remembered there is a separate "sensor" driver, though I'm not sure what "sensor" means exactly. So I double checked that everything was installed and tried both sets of drivers.)