fix(incremental): properly initiate nested deferred grouped field sets

[yaacovCR]

when early execution is disabled, the shouldDefer logic has a subtle bug

see: https://github.com/graphql/defer-stream-wg/discussions/84#discussioncomment-8280294

depends on #4112

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[yaacovCR]

Closing in favor of https://github.com/graphql/graphql-js/pull/4140