Updates to interaction component deferring

[ghostdevv]

This is somewhat related to #223 as it would standardise this amongst reactions, but should happen regardless, even if it's via a util. Below are my thoughts/notes, not a decision yet:

• [ ] Defer options changes

  • We allow setting fetchReply, is that usable and necessary?
  • Should ephemeral be moved if #226 happens?

• [ ] Should we enable defer by default

  • What are most apps using?
  • How does this play with the current system?