DAOS-13812 container: fix destroy vs lookup (#12757)

[wangshilong]

If container is going to be dead, set @sc_stopping firstly, and later lookup will fail, then wait existed container services exit.

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[github-actions[bot]]

Bug-tracker data: Ticket title is 'container destroy fails with DER_IO after IOR Hard with EC' Status is 'Resolved' Labels: 'acceptance,scrubbed,tds' Job should run at elevated priority (1) https://daosio.atlassian.net/browse/DAOS-13812

[daosbuild1]

Test stage Functional Hardware Medium Verbs Provider completed with status UNSTABLE. https://build.hpdd.intel.com/job/daos-stack/job/daos//view/change-requests/job/PR-13689/1/testReport/

[daosbuild1]

Test stage NLT on EL 8.8 completed with status UNSTABLE. https://build.hpdd.intel.com/job/daos-stack/job/daos//view/change-requests/job/PR-13689/4/testReport/

[daosbuild1]

Test stage Functional on EL 8.8 completed with status FAILURE. https://build.hpdd.intel.com//job/daos-stack/job/daos/view/change-requests/job/PR-13689/4/execution/node/1312/log

[daosbuild1]

Test stage Functional Hardware Medium Verbs Provider completed with status UNSTABLE. https://build.hpdd.intel.com/job/daos-stack/job/daos//view/change-requests/job/PR-13689/5/testReport/

[daosbuild1]

Test stage Functional Hardware Medium completed with status FAILURE. https://build.hpdd.intel.com//job/daos-stack/job/daos/view/change-requests/job/PR-13689/5/execution/node/1629/log