release-23.1: sql: fix TestAuthenticationAndHBARules stress tests SSL issue

[souravcrl]

Backport 2/2 commits from #132729.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

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sql: fix TestAuthenticationAndHBARules stress tests SSL issue

informs #131532 informs #131110 informs #130253 informs #127745 Epic CRDB-41958

TestAuthenticationAndHBARules fails for special_cases, hba_default_equivalence, empty_hba data driven tests for secure mode. The failures occur when root user is trying to authenticate with cert-password auth method and sslmode is set to verify-ca with sslcert being empty. The expected behavior is root authentication defaults to password method and fails as no password is set for root, but instead we get:

pq: SSL is not enabled on the server

Since the failures are there only under stress, it might be because db server shutdown or paused before responding to request for upgrade connection to SSL from lib/pq client from here https://github.com/lib/pq/blob/3d613208bca2e74f2a20e04126ed30bcb5c4cc27/conn.go#L1116-L1130. Retrying connection establishment when this specific error is obtained might fix the problem as this logic seems faulty(it checks for absence of 'S' in server response whereas the correct check should be for 'N' in response).

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pgwire: add test build logs for upgrade secure conn

Additional test build logs are added to verify the step for which maybeUpgradeToSecureConn fails.

Release note: None

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Release justification: test only to fix TestAuthenticationAndHBARules under stress