[branch-2.1](grace-exit) BE gracefully exit when port conflicts (#31143)

[zclllyybb]

Proposed changes

Issue Number: close #xxx

https://github.com/apache/doris/pull/31143

Further comments

If this is a relatively large or complex change, kick off the discussion at [email protected] by explaining why you chose the solution you did and what alternatives you considered, etc...

[doris-robot]

Thank you for your contribution to Apache Doris. Don't know what should be done next? See How to process your PR

[github-actions[bot]]

clang-tidy review says "All clean, LGTM! :+1:"