odb: carefully preserve the object ids across recycling

[openroad-robot]

Currently the code assumes that placement new won't change the oid but that doesn't appear to be true in newer compilers.

Fixes #5142

[github-actions[bot]]

clang-tidy review says "All clean, LGTM! :+1:"

[maliberty]

@gatecat would you try this out with your compiler (G++ 14.1.1) and see if it resolves your issue?

[gatecat]

Thanks, I can confirm this works for me!