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General examples male/female uses
In all of the examples, you talk about men. The one time you mention a woman, the man is doing the actual work. This creates an effect that women doesn't belong to this place, I'll explain more in person.
You are right, and it can be improved.
Can you take the lead on this one? :)
Sure, no problem :) do you want me to edit the existing notes or just review the next ones?
Pick the one you think is better :)
See DabruEleynu and Tamar Eylam Gindin's post on gender-neutral writing in Hebrew