issue: 3586273 Use XLIO_DEFERRED_CLOSE by default

[iftahl]

For incoming sockets - no change. For outgoing sockets - since outgoing sockets occupy a local port, we should release it on the socket destructor to prevent race from another socket to use the same port. This race might cause XLIO to hold 2 sockets with the same RFS object at the same time, and this is fatal (particularly for TCP).

Change type

What kind of change does this PR introduce?

• [x] Bugfix
• [ ] Feature
• [ ] Code style update
• [ ] Refactoring (no functional changes, no api changes)
• [ ] Build related changes
• [ ] CI related changes
• [ ] Documentation content changes
• [ ] Tests
• [ ] Other

Check list

• [ ] Code follows the style de facto guidelines of this project
• [ ] Comments have been inserted in hard to understand places
• [ ] Documentation has been updated (if necessary)
• [ ] Test has been added (if possible)