Port over build system improvements from metatensor

[Luthaf]

There have been a bunch of build system and CI improvements in metatensor that we should port to rascaline as well

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/382

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/491

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/497

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/506

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/527

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/540

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/564

• [ ] https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/571

• [ ] maybe https://github.com/lab-cosmo/metatensor/pull/406