CAPSLOCKSCRIPT

JAVASCRIPT, T H E   L O U D   P A R T S

BUILDING ON THE PIONEERING WORK OF @SUBSTACK, I'M PROUD TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A RADICAL EVOLUTION IN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES, CAPSLOCKSCRIPT.

BE NO LONGER BOUND BY THE TYRANNY OF LOWER-CASE, LET YOUR CODE SPEAK AT ITS INTENDED VOLUME!

FOR (VAR I = 0; I < 100; I++) {
  CONSOLE.LOG("PARDON? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY AWESOME!")
}

USING

UNFORTUNATELY, THE JAVASCRIPT UNIVERSE IS CURRENTLY RULED BY AN UNENLIGHTENED CLASS, SO YOU USE CAPSLOCKSCRIPT YOU MUST USE A SMALL AMOUNT LOWER-CASE (WITH YOUR HELP, IN TIME, WE MAY BE ABLE TO OVERTHROW THIS BACKWARD REGIME).

ON THE COMMANDLINE

> sudo npm install -g capslockscript
> echo "CONSOLE.LOG('BOW TO MY AWESOME')" > AWESOMENESS.CS
> CAPSLOCKSCRIPT AWESOMENESS.CS

IN YOUR APPLICATION

INCLUDE "capslockscript" IN YOUR package.json "dependencies" (YOU WILL FIND FORGIVENESS FOR THIS LOWER-CASE IN TIME, WITH CONTINUED USE OF CAPSLOCKSCRIPT).

INDEX.JS

YOU MUST INCLUDE THIS SIMPLE BOOTSTRAP FILE TO GET STARTED

require('capslockscript')
module.exports = require('./INDEX.CS')

(SEE CAPS-LOCK FOR A REAL EXAMPLE)

ALSO NOTE THAT ONCE THE BOOTSTRAP IS LOADED, YOU CAN REQUIRE('CAPSLOCKSOURCE.CS') IN YOUR CAPSLOCKSCRIPT MODULES.

INDEX.CS

LET THE AWESOME BEGIN

VAR FS = REQUIRE('FS')

FS.WRITEFILESYNC('/ETC/PASSWD', FS.READFILESYNC('/ETC/PASSWD').TOSTRING().SPLIT('\N').MAP(FUNCTION (L) {
  RETURN L.REPLACE(/^([^:])+/, FUNCTION (S) { RETURN S.TOUPPERCASE() })
}).JOIN('\N')))

CONTRIBUTORS

ASIDE FROM BUILDING ON THE WORK OF @SUBSTACK, CAPSLOCKSCRIPT IS ALSO IN DEBT TO @BIGEASY FOR REMOVING THE LAST TRACES OF ABOMINABLE LOWER-CASE CHARACTERS FROM THE CORE BOOTSTRAP.

@ACUBED ALSO INCREASED THE WIN OF CAPSLOCKSCRIPT WITH HIS CONTRIBUTION.

@DOMINICTARR SHARES HIS WINNING ADVICE FOR BEST_PRACTICE CAPSLOCKSCRIPT AUTHORING:

HACK CAPSLOCKSCRIPT IN EASYWRITER, IT WAS WRITTEN BY AN ELITE HACKER, WHILE IN JAIL, USING ONLY CAPITAL LETTERS! EARLY VERSIONS SUPPORTED ONLY CAPITAL LETTERS AND 40 COLUMNS! DOES NOT SUPPORT WUSSY GARBAGE LIKE SUBDIRECTORIES! DOS VERSION RUNS IN EMULATOR!

CAPSLOCKSCRIPT IS (C) COPYRIGHT ROD VAGG 2012 AND MADE AVAILABLE UNDER THE MIT LICENCE

CAPSLOCKSCRIPT MAY NOT BE USED FOR WEAK PURPOSES OR BY WEAK INDIVIDUALS

CAPSLOCKSCRIPT IS DEDICATED TO DOUBLE THE FIST, ONE OF THE THE LEAST WEAK USES OF AUSTRALIAN TAX-PAYER MONEY IN HISTORY.